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The Pink Pineapple: Proof We've Officially Lost the Plot
Okay, so now pineapples are pink? Seriously? I saw this "pink pineapple" nonsense trending, and my first thought was, "Please, god, no." But here we are. Apparently, some genius decided that the regular yellow pineapple just wasn't *extra* enough. It's a genetically modified fruit, tweaked to be pink inside, and people are losing their minds.
They call it a "trend." I call it a symptom. A symptom of a society so bored and overstimulated that we need to engineer novelty into our damn fruit.
Pink Pineapples: Genetically Modified for Your Likes?
Lycopene Lies and Instagram Lives
The article says the pink color comes from lycopene, the same stuff that makes tomatoes red. Fine. But here's the kicker: in normal pineapples, that lycopene gets turned into beta-carotene, which is why they're yellow. So, these "scientists" (and I use that term loosely) shut off the enzyme that does that conversion. Boom, pink pineapple.
It's like taking a perfectly good car and putting spinners on it. Sure, it might look "cool" to some people, but all you've really done is make it gaudier and probably less functional.
And the reason? Instagram, offcourse. Of course. It's all about that "photogenic charm," that "Instagram-worthy snack." We're not eating for nutrition, we're eating for likes. We're not enjoying food, we're curating content.
$50 for a Pineapple? Are We Officially Doomed?
The Price of Pink (and Stupidity)
Here's another fun fact: these pink monstrosities cost anywhere from $25 to $50 *each*. Fifty bucks for a pineapple? Are you kidding me? You can buy a week's worth of groceries for that kind of money. Or, you know, a *normal* pineapple for like, five bucks.
The explanation? "Exclusivity." They only grow them in "select tropical farms under carefully controlled conditions." And they ship 'em without the crown so you can't replant them. It's all about manufactured scarcity, creating artificial demand for something that's ultimately pointless.
It's like those "limited edition" sneakers that cost a grand. Are they really that much better than a regular pair of shoes? No. People just want to feel special, to show off how much money they're willing to waste on something frivolous.
And the celebrities, naturally, are all over it. Benny Blanco thinks it's "incredible." Give me a break. He probably gets paid to say that. What else is he gonna say? "Yeah, it's a pineapple. So what?" No, he's gotta gush about it, because that's what influencers do. They sell you stuff. As The Pink Pineapple: Nature’s Sweetest Trend Taking Over the Internet — and Benny Blanco Approves reports, the celebrity endorsement is a key part of the pink pineapple's marketing.
Pink Pineapples: Because Solving World Hunger is Too Hard?
Is This Progress? Or Just Peak Idiocracy?
The article assures us that pink pineapples are "completely safe" to eat. They're "packed with health benefits," like Vitamin C and antioxidants. Okay, great. So are regular pineapples. And oranges. And, you know, *actual* vegetables.
But here's the thing that really bugs me: we're spending time and resources on genetically modifying fruit to be *pink* when there are still people starving in the world. We're obsessing over the aesthetics of our food while ignoring the fundamental problems with our food system.
Maybe I'm just an old grump yelling at a cloud, but it feels like we're moving further and further away from reality. We're so caught up in the superficial, the fleeting, the visually appealing, that we're losing sight of what actually matters. Are we really evolving, or are we just perfecting the art of distraction?
We're Doomed, I Tell Ya!
